Time for Tea!

Little girls today are told that they can do anything, be anyone, but strangely many are discouraged from displaying "traditional" girlish interests in an effort to promote equality between genders. The media praises the girl who isn't afraid to run in the mud and play rough, while the girl who would rather dress up in a frilly dress and play with her dolls or read about knights and ladies is considered to be a step backward from the idea that a girl should be as tough as her male counterparts.

Being a feminist as well as a lace-wearing, daisy-chain-making girly girl, I think it is harmful when femininity is identified as a bygone standard of weakness, though I am glad that there are still women out there who champion rebellion without abandoning their Yin (my heroine, the vengeful songstress Emilie Autumn, comes to mind!). I would posit that femininity should be reclaimed as a positive trait, and we need to let our girls know that they can be independent and self-confident and still enjoy old-fashioned activities, like holding a tea party.

Ah, tea, the universal drink that soothes the senses and makes the dreary four o' clock hour a little easier to sip! Nearly every culture has its traditions and rituals associated with the imbibing of the hot beverage, and noone knew how to celebrate tea like the mad Victorians, who raised the rite of scalding one's tongue on leafy water to a form of social art.

Since I was a little girl I have loved tea, my mother being a paragon of nineteenth-century class who took my (tomboy!) twin sister and me to high tea at a little shop behind a castle on the river when the rain came to visit. The shop was Riverside Cup of Tea, and though I wept to hear that it recently went out of business, my memories of the place are myriad. The china selection was a wonderful mish-mash of pieces, the result being that each person had a different cup, saucer and silver from the person sitting next to her. Next to the bathroom was an old coat rack bedecked with vintage hats, shawls and gloves that girls and their grandmas would don, and the resulting sartorial elegance would have put Lillie Langtry to shame. Even my sister, never one for frilly nonsense, nevertheless loved the place for their strawberry soup and a turkey sandwich called the "Mr. Tumnus."

The cultural relevance of daily tea is sadly losing steam, but for the antiquarian and the aesthete a hot cup of Earl Grey with fresh scones will hardly go out of fashion. Besides, even the most tomboyish lass can find something to enjoy about an afternoon tea.

Last month, I was granted the pleasure of hosting a "Little Women" themed tea party at the Museum of World Treasures in Wichita, KS, in honor of the museum's Customer Appreciation Day. Throughout the day, families were invited to stroll through the museum and interact with guest reenactors as they brought different facets of history to life; men dressed as World War II soldiers marched through the halls accompanied by ladies dressed as their pillbox-hat-wearing sweethearts, historical costumers demonstrated the modern application of their craft, and a singularly hilarious group of students from Newman University, the "Sloppy Joes," performed a truncated update of Shakespeare's histories to the joy of their audience.

The Museum is a fantastic place, with each room allowing a peek into fascinating eras of human history through collected antiquities including the mummies of two Egyptian noblewomen, Hellenistic coins and jewelry, personal letters from popes and queens, and various weaponry from America's wars. One of my favorite exhibits is the Historic Authors Collection, which has first edition copies of various popular novels and artifacts from their authors (including Robert Frost's velvet cape!). It was here that we set up for our tea party, right in front of the center display which features dolls based on the 1933 adaptation of Louisa May Alcott's "Little Women" that starred Katharine Hepburn as feisty Jo.

I tumbled into the Musem in the early morning, dressed to kill crumpets in a reproduction Victorian day dress and *very* poofy petticoat that threatened to make sitting down a battle. Armed with my practical knowledge of tea party etiquette as well as my well-loved heirloom copy of "Gems for the Household" (the Victorian manners primer from the early 1890s is sadly out of print, and ours is missing some pages...but it was our bible when setting the table for guests), I readied myself for the coming onslaught of children. Luckily for me, all of the kids were polite and well-behaved, and most of them were thrilled to learn about the proper way to hold a teacup. It thrilled me to meet young gentlemen who enjoy tea parties as well!

What did the tea party consist of? Well, I am sad to say that we weren't allowed to have actual tea in the museum, but our imaginations provided us with the items we lacked (are you imagining the feast from "Hook?" I'm imagining the feast from "Hook.") and the girls and boys sipped their "tea" with as much vigor as if the cups were filled with more than air. I repeated my spiel several times throughout the day as new groups of children came by the author exhibit, and when my little acolytes were properly instructed they each received a handmade bookmark to reward their efforts. I met so many sweet kids, from ages four to fourteen, none of whom were forced to attend by their parents. The best surprise was when boys were eager to join in without wincing! I hope that they all came away with a better knowledge and respect for the fine cultural tradition of tea, even if the only change is that they never drink a microwaved Lipton tea bag from mug.

Here are some of the things that I included in my presentation;

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The Teapot: When the teapot is placed on the table the spout should point towards the hostess.

Serving: An experienced hostess will serve the foods in order, scones, sandwiches, and then dessert.

The Teaspoon: After you have stirred your tea, rest the teaspoon in your saucer. It is not proper to place it on the table or serving tray.

Sipping: How many of us recall images of a someone lifting their little finger as they sip tea. Well in all actuality it isn’t proper etiquette neither is leaving a lipstick print on the cup.

The Napkin: If you are hosting a tea party etiquette states you should offer cloth napkins, not paper. The napkin should be completely unfolded and placed on your lap and keep it laid flat.

How To: Here is one place where its okay to eat with your fingers, but foods must first be placed on your plate before you start to indulge yourself. When eating scones break off small pieces and eat a small bite at a time. Do not use a fork to eat the scone. Savor the tea sandwiches one small bite at a time instead of shoving the entire thing in your mouth! Desserts should be presented on the tray in individual servings.

Once you have finished, leave your plate in front of you and fold your napkin and place it to the side of the plate, but not on the plate.

When adding sugar cubes take care not to dip the sugar tong or sugar spoon into the tea.

The proper way to drink tea when seated at a table is to leave the saucer on the table and only raise the cup. However if you are not seated at a table you should lift both the saucer and the cup to your chest then lift the teacup off the saucer and sip. When you are not drinking, the cup should rest in the saucer on your lap.

 

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Tea parties were daily occurrences, usually meant to socialize. Small groups of neighbors and friends would be invited; even young men come to court the young ladies of the house. They would be held around four o’clock in the afternoon.

Here are some tips on how to make authentic, fancy tea:

How to make tea:

Boil water in a kettle
Transfer water from kettle into a teapot: 1 teaspoon for each cup of tea; brew 3-5 minutes

Loading tea pot

Loose leaf tea was preferred: silk tea bags were invented in 1904, but Brits and Americans thought that brewing with tea bags was inferior

American society and tea: tea is important commodity, taxes

(Tea should not be iced and sweet!)

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This next part was the favorite among the kids, many of whom were reading "Little Women" with their mothers at the time (another nice surprise!):

An excerpt on an outdoor tea party from Louisa May Alcott’s “Little Women”

“The girls flew about, trying to make things comfortable, each in her own way. Meg arranged the tea table, Jo brought wood and set chairs, dropping, over-turning, and clattering everything she touched. Beth trotted to and fro between parlor kitchen, quiet and busy, while Amy gave directions to everyone, as she sat with her hands folded.

At four o’clock a lull took place, and baskets remained empty, while the apple pickers rested and compared rents and bruises. Then Jo and Meg, with a detachment of the bigger boys, set forth the supper on the grass, for an out-of-door tea was always the crowning joy of the day. The land literally flowed with milk and honey on such occasions, for the lads were not required to sit at table, but allowed to partake of refreshment as they liked — freedom being the sauce best beloved by the boyish soul. They availed themselves of the rare privilege to the fullest extent, for some tried the pleasing experiment of drinking milk while standing on their heads, others lent a charm to leapfrog by eating pie in the pauses of the game, cookies were sown broadcast over the field, and apple turnovers roosted in the trees like a new style of bird. The little girls had a private tea party, and Ted roved among the edibles at his own sweet will.” Little Women, chapter 57.

 

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Goodness, that was a long post! Now, I think I am going to go brew some rooibos tea...